The Silent Ones by William Brodrick

Author:William Brodrick [BRODRICK, WILLIAM]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FIC050000, FIC022100, FIC022000, FIC042060
ISBN: 9781468316841
Publisher: The Overlook Press
Published: 2018-09-24T16:00:00+00:00

32

Martin Brandwell left the public gallery. He went quickly down the stairs, through security, and out of the Old Bailey, heading east along Ludgate Hill towards St Paul’s Cathedral. Nipping down a side street he pushed open the door of a small café. Justin was waiting, sitting at a table in a far corner.

‘There’s nothing to worry about,’ said Martin, sitting down, already lying.

A waiter brought coffee and then withdrew. Justin was handling a glass salt cellar, turning it round and round, watching the white crystals fall. There were grains of rice, too.

‘They look like maggots,’ he said, giving the cellar another shake.

‘I said there’s nothing to worry about.’

Justin looked up. His eyes were red, his skin white as plaster. Martin’s heart almost stopped: his boy was falling apart once more. If inner filth could bleed, Justin’s blood would be spreading like a dark pool, reaching for the door and the outside world. Martin placed his hands around his son’s, bringing them together around the salt pot. He kept them there as if to keep a wound closed.

‘He’s cross-examined Maisie and Dominic,’ said Martin. ‘He knows nothing, I promise you. Littlemore has remained silent … no one is going to know. This will be over soon. Hold yourself together … please, my boy.’

Justin had been like this before the breakdown. He’d started twitching around the mouth, laughing suddenly, crying quickly, laughing some more and then he’d fallen on his knees, his chest heaving in silence. An hour or so later he’d been all smiles, absolutely carefree … just like a kid about to go on holiday … excited and silly … and that night he’d taken an overdose. Heroin. To this day Maisie thought it had been sleeping tablets. The guilt and shame had finally burst out, like an abscess at the centre of his conscience. Martin had hoped for healing but now he realised how foolish he’d been: how do you heal a sickness for which there’s no cure?

‘Your mother will never find out, Justin,’ breathed Martin, as if he’d climbed to Speakers’ Corner. ‘She’s going to live out her years without knowing … if that is what you want.’

‘There’s no other way.’

‘Are you really so sure?’

Justin barked, neck bent, face lifted: ‘Yes.’

Martin raised his hands and cradled his son’s head. But Justin wouldn’t look at him. He tried to pull away, closing his eyes, but Martin wouldn’t release him.

‘Are you clean?’ asked Martin, quietly.

‘Yes.’

‘Truthfully?’

‘Yes, honestly.’ Justin was crying; he leaned back, and Martin had to let go. The world seem to slip from his fingers. ‘I’m just so tired, Dad … I can’t get away. I can’t escape … I can’t shake off who I am … what I’ve become. What I’ve done.’ Tears of exhaustion ran down his cheek. ‘I can’t get clean in the way that matters most …’

‘Let me talk to your mother. Let’s get everything out into the open.’

Justin was hopeless. ‘It wouldn’t make any difference. I remain the same. So what’s the point?’

‘Because you wouldn’t remain the same.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.